*catches feelings* *throws them back*
Alright, so every Monday night (during the season), me and my girl friends get together and watch “The Bachelor.” I also happened to just finish watching the creepiest show on Netflix, with my friend, called “You.” These two shows gave me a lot of weird thoughts about dating, as if I already didn’t have them, and I thought I would share, because that seems to be what I do on here.
First of all, how strange it is that we find someone we like and have to go through this entire process to convince them to like us, because let’s be real, in the beginning, there is always one person who is more “in it” than the other. It maayyy not be by much, but I think it’s a general consensus that there is always one person who is ready to dive in and start something more serious and one person who isn’t so sure. Soooooo we play the texting game. Now what a fun game that is… “okay so we went on a date. do I text them tonight right after? or tomorrow morning? or is that too soon. maybe I’m supposed to wait for them to text me first. but what if they don’t? should I give them 24 hours then see what’s up? or is that too needy. nope, they will think I’m too needy.. okay well hmm… *texts group text with every girl friend you’ve ever had* ‘what do I do?’ *gets a million responses back about when you’re supposed to text back* never texts the guy back…” Don’t lie, you know you do this after a date, and this definitely works for both sides. After/ during this fun game, we decide to start a second one, called the social media game… “alright, he never posts… oh wait, there’s a picture, okay should I like it? or act like I don’t care or didn’t see it and leave it alone? oh wait he just watched all of my stories.. oh, he definitely saw my picture and didn’t like it. wait, what kind of tweet was that? what does that mean? guys aren’t that deep right? why can’t he post a decent picture of himself to show my friends? ugh guys suck at taking pictures. I have 400 pictures of the left side of my face and he can’t post one decent photo? omg don’t snapchat him back! give it like a day or two and see if he snaps you again then maybeee you can respond…” Once again, don’t tell me this has never happened to you, when a majority of my girl friends have had instances like this, like mine, one can only assume, this is not a rare thing.
So here’s the thing, parents cannoootttt relate to this because they lived in the easier days when things like social media and texting didn’t exist. We are the first generation having to figure out this crazy world of more than a simple phone call. I know I know, there are amazing and awesome things about these little devices we have, but sometimes, I wish we would still pick up the phone and do it the way they did in the good ole days. A simple phone call the next day saying “thank you for the awesome date, let’s do it again” wouldn’t be too much to ask right? Or everyone being straight up about how they feel? Maybe I live in this fantasy world where I think people could just tell people how they feel. I used to have this thing where I thought that now since I’m an “adult”, dating would be easier because we wouldn’t be playing these games anymore and everyone would be able to come clean about how they feel and communicate that, however, I was wrong on that front. It seems that this is something that is just part of dating no matter what age you are.
Being a hopeless romantic stuck in a hookup culture is a special kind of hell.
Okay, another weird factor about dating today.. The ability to find out so much information about someone, so easily. Now this could be more of an online dating situation. Let’s be real, I’m not sure where you meet eligible men, especially when you’re a dancer, other than going out, buuuttt if you don’t go out much, not sure where you go? Anywho, especially with online dating, you can find out so much info on someone before you even take the first step into going on a real date with them. Social media has given us this weird world where we can scroll, years back (if you’re like that lol), and see every person they’ve ever dated, who they took to prom, what kind of person they were like in high school, which college they graduated from, what their parents look like, how many siblings they have, where they spent the holidays, and so many other excessive details. I mean yes, with social media, we do make a conscious decision to put out the information that we do, and I feel this, because especially having a blog, I put out a looottt of personal details about myself, which is something I have decided to do, so I’m not mad about it, but I do think it’s weird that we have the ability to judge someone’s entire life based off of their Instagram and Facebook (do the kids still use that?). We live in this strange world where we have two lives, the real one and the social media one, but we get judged on the social media one because it’s quicker and there’s a lot more information up front. This is where that super creepy show “You” comes into play. It’s pretty much about this stalker who is able to use social media and text messages to manipulate a girl, and while this is extreme and creepy, it is true that we are able to find out so much about someone, so quickly, and it definitely puts it into a different perspective. Makes you think twice about sharing that Instagram story… even though you’re probably going to post it anyway… Another crazy thing about social media and online dating is how easy it is to find people, maybe not the right kinds of people, but we have hundreds, or thousands of people right at our fingertips to look at and compare. You can scroll through your feed and see photos of guys and girls, or easily swipe through hundreds of people on a dating app. It is so much easier to get distracted, while in a relationship or dating, and start to compare just based off of pictures and small bits of information. It is wild that we have this kind of access to people that are looking for hookups or whatever it may be.
I’ve been single for a little while and I have to say. It’s going very well. Like.. it’s working out. I think I’m the one.
Lastly, and I guess this blog post has kinda made a left turn, but lastly, I think it’s important to note that we remember what we all deserve in a relationship. Everyone is going to go into a new dating situation with their own baggage and insecurities, but part of going into it, is having an open mind and seeing if you can still like the person past those things. You may look at Instagram and see the couples that you know, and see their pictures of their “perfect” relationships and think that you want something like that, but remember that social media tells a different story than reality. Don’t get into a relationship with someone because you’re lonely or because you need that perfect picture or whatever other reasons people decide to get into relationships for.. This is where “The Bachelor” is relatable.. while yes, it is a reality TV show, if we look at the basis of it, 30 women or men are willing to go onto a show and compete with each other for one person because all they want to do is “find love.” Yes, most people on there are probably not there for that reason, but the things people are willing to do to find their persons are insane. It’s in our music, it’s in our movies, in our tv shows, everywhere we look, everyone is struggling to express their emotions about dating and relationships. Learn to love yourself and be confident and go out there and live your life. The right person will come along at the right time, for the right reason. Protect your heart and know that even with all of these crazy things mentioned above, everyone goes through it and it’s weird and awkward and strange, the whole dating thing, but even with that, you will eventually find your person and there’s no use in trying to rush the whole thing. Hopefully you can find comfort in the fact that you are not alone in the things mentioned in this blog and remember that you have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince. (or queen)
Take a chance. You never know how perfect something might turn out to be.